Perfectionism is often seen as trying to do your best, but it can be a tricky thing. Wanting to do well is good, but perfectionism can make us feel stuck. Sometimes, we think so much about getting everything just right that we don’t end up doing anything at all. This is called “paralysis by analysis.”
A big reason we feel this way is that we compare ourselves to others. We see people sharing their happy moments online and think, “They have it all figured out.” I used to feel this way about my best friend. She shared pictures of her having fun and living her best life. But when we talked more deeply, I learned she was feeling really overwhelmed and tired. I had been comparing my life to a picture, not the truth.
Letting go of perfectionism means being nicer to ourselves. It means accepting that “done is better than perfect.” When we let go of perfectionism, we can do more and enjoy life better.
Redefining Expectations
Letting go of perfectionism does not mean we should stop trying our best. It means we need to be kind and realistic about what we can achieve. Perfectionists set really high goals, which can make us feel bad when we don’t reach them. Instead, we need to think about what is “good enough.”
It’s important to know that there is a difference between having high standards and wanting everything to be perfect. High standards mean doing your best based on what you know. For example, I used to worry that if I let go of perfectionism, my work might not be as good. But I realised that while details are important, chasing something that isn’t real is not good.
To help with this, ask yourself: “If this doesn’t go the way I planned, how will I feel?” If the answer is negative, you might be in a perfectionist mindset. Try to be kind instead. It’s okay to aim high, but we also need to forgive ourselves if things don’t go as we want. We can learn from every experience rather than see it as a failure.
Prioritising Tasks
A great way to avoid perfectionism is to understand how important each task is. Not every task needs the same effort, and this is where prioritising comes in. I like to divide tasks into three categories: needs, wants, and values.
For example, hanging the washing is a need. It is important for keeping our clothes clean and dry, but it doesn’t have to be perfect—just good enough to dry properly. This task can be done to a medium standard.
Next, we have tasks related to our wants, like hobbies. For example, if you enjoy crochet, the goal is to have fun, not to make everything perfect. If you make a mistake, it’s not a big deal. You can start over, fix it, or just go with it. The main point is to enjoy doing it, not to worry about being perfect.
Finally, there are tasks that connect to our values. These tasks are really important to us, like our career or friendships. For me, this could be cooking a nice meal for friends to show I care, or doing well on a writing project that I love. These tasks deserve more attention because they show what matters to us.
By thinking about tasks as needs, wants, or values, we can set the right expectations for ourselves. High-value tasks deserve more effort, while others can be done more quickly. This way, we can let go of perfectionism where it’s not needed and still give our best in the areas that matter.
How to Get Over Perfectionism
One good question to ask yourself when perfectionism starts to creep in is: “If this doesn’t go as I planned, how will I feel?” Write down your answer so you can look back at it later. This helps you remember to be kind to yourself if things don’t turn out perfectly.
This idea connects to something called “fear planning.” It helps you face your fears by thinking about what would happen if things went wrong. It’s not about worrying too much, but about planning for it. When you can see the worst that can happen and know how to handle it, you can stop being so scared.
Another useful tip is to decide ahead of time how much time or energy you will spend on a task. For example, I set a limit for how long I’ll spend on social media for my business. I try to post good content but only spend 30 minutes a day on it. This helps me focus on what is really important. Remembering that “done is better than perfect” helps me move forward instead of getting stuck worrying.
Perfectionism can be hard to break, but understanding why we feel it is the first step. By changing how we see our expectations, prioritising tasks, and using practical tools like self-reflection and fear planning, we can learn to move forward without needing everything to be perfect. Letting go of perfectionism does not mean we stop aiming high; it means finding a way to be kind to ourselves while still doing our best.