In today’s world, we’re bombarded with advertisements and social media posts telling us what we should buy, wear, and own. It’s easy to feel like our happiness depends on having the latest products or keeping up with trends. But is owning things really what brings us lasting joy? I believe true fulfilment comes from creating meaningful memories and embracing experiences, not accumulating material goods. By focusing on what we do, rather than what we have, we can lead richer, more connected lives.
Experiences Over Possessions
One way to break free from the cycle of consumerism is to shift your focus from accumulating possessions to investing in experiences. What if, instead of buying the latest gadget or outfit, you spent that money on activities that make you feel alive? Giving yourself a monthly budget for experiences is a simple but powerful strategy. It doesn’t have to be a big budget—even a small amount can lead to meaningful activities.
Think about what you enjoy: going bowling, playing crazy golf, or visiting a nearby city or town. Maybe try something new like pottery painting or go-karting. These experiences are not only fun, but they also help you connect with others and create lasting memories.
When you’re out enjoying these experiences, challenge yourself to turn off your social media apps. I know it can feel strange, especially if you’re used to sharing every moment, but keeping your phone away helps you stay present. Of course, you can still take photos to capture the moment, but avoid the urge to post right away. This simple shift lets you fully immerse yourself in the experience, without worrying about how it looks online.
The Pressure to Post
We live in a culture that thrives on oversharing. It’s become almost second nature to post every meal, event, or outing. But have you ever wondered why we feel this compulsion to share? If you stop posting as much, the truth is most people won’t even notice. And if they do and are genuinely concerned, they’ll likely reach out to check on you. This opens the door to deeper, more meaningful conversations, where you can explain that you’re focusing on living in the moment.
Photos and videos can absolutely enhance memories, but they can also get in the way. I experienced this first hand a few years ago during a sunrise walk in Scotland. I was alone, watching the sun rise over the sea and a castle in the distance, and it was one of the most beautiful moments I’ve ever experienced. The peace and beauty of that scene brought me to tears, and I’m so grateful that I allowed myself to be present. I did take a few photos, they help me remember that morning and how humbled and grateful I felt. But I’m also glad that I didn’t spend the entire time trying to capture every second. It’s about balance—take a photo or two, but don’t let the camera replace the magic of the moment.
Why Are We Really Posting?
It’s worth asking yourself: What do I really gain from posting this? In my experience, we post for one of two reasons: either to seek validation or to share updates with our friends and family. If we’re being honest with ourselves, most of the time it’s for the former. We post hoping for likes, comments, or messages that make us feel seen. But what happens when the validation doesn’t come? When the likes are fewer than expected, or no one reaches out, we end up feeling worse than before.
If we were truly posting for ourselves, we wouldn’t feel the need to broadcast it online. We’d simply keep those photos for our own memories, maybe printing them for an album or just keeping them on our phone. The key here is learning to recognise when we’re seeking validation and finding healthier ways to fulfil that need.
One of the best ways to break free from this cycle is by focusing on self-validation. Instead of seeking approval from others, we can learn to validate ourselves by celebrating our own wins. This could be anything from hanging the wash when you really didn’t feel like it, to completing a big project at work. No matter how small or big the achievement, it deserves recognition.
One practice that has helped me and my clients immensely is keeping a “win diary.” It doesn’t have to be anything fancy—it could be a notebook or even a simple note on your phone. The idea is to write down every win you have throughout the day. Whether it’s remembering to brush your teeth or graduating from university, all wins go in and all receive the same level of celebration.
Over time, this practice can build self-esteem and help you focus more on your personal progress, rather than comparing yourself to others. You’ll start to notice that you don’t need likes or external validation to feel proud of yourself. You have the power to celebrate your achievements and feel good about them, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
There’s a lot of pressure in today’s world to conform to the constant need for instant validation. But by keeping a win diary and celebrating yourself daily, you’re taking back control of your own self-worth. You’re no longer relying on others to tell you that you’re doing well—you know it, and that’s what truly matters.
Living in a society that constantly pushes consumerism and external validation can be exhausting, but you don’t have to play by those rules. By shifting your focus from owning things to creating memories, and by practicing self-validation, you can take back your power. Celebrate your wins, live in the moment, and remember that true happiness doesn’t come from possessions or likes—it comes from the experiences you have and the pride you take in yourself.
When we choose to focus on doing rather than having, we lead richer, more fulfilling lives. So next time you’re tempted to post, pause for a moment and ask yourself: Am I doing this for me, or for validation? And when the answer isn’t for you, step back and remind yourself that your worth isn’t tied to likes or comments. It’s tied to the memories you create and how you celebrate yourself along the way.