Life’s been throwing its curveballs lately, and I’m feeling a bit lost in this crazy world. The pressure to have everything figured out by now is real, and it’s overwhelming. I’m struggling to balance work, relationships, and finding my true passions. How do I shake off the fear of failure and embrace the uncertainty? Any tips for staying motivated and confident while navigating this rollercoaster called adulthood? Your guidance would mean the world right now.
(Female, 30)
Oh my gal, I think more people will relate to this than almost anything else. If I were to describe the overall feeling of our generation right now, it would definitely be OVERWHELMED!
All our peers are struggling with some sort of overwhelm at the moment, whether it’s from their professional life, romantic relationships, friends and family or something else (or everything, let’s be real here!).
So please know, you are not alone in this. Regardless of how people present themselves on social media, or even in real life, we’re all struggling with something. But hopefully these next bits of advice will help you navigate life and feel calmer within yourself.
Balancing everything in life
Unfortunately there is no easy way to do this, life is dynamic and always going to change. It can feel like you’re constantly climbing a mountain, trying to reach the summit where you can stop and enjoy what you’ve done.
However, life is a never ending mountain, there is no summit, not really. Instead there are plenty of ledges, and view-points on the way up. If you spend your whole life trying to reach the summit, you’re going to be unhappy and overwhelmed.
If you can get comfortable with the fact life is always changing, you can choose which ledges to sit and enjoy the view, before continuing your journey. Life is about being dynamic, so follow your heart and do what you love, that way the journey will be so much more enjoyable.
Releasing the Fear of Failure
Failure is a part of life, as I’m sure we all know. Now, I’m not going to spout some crap about “there are no failures only lessons” because although that may be true, it doesn’t stop it hurting like hell!
We can control how much this hurts though. When we fail from doing something that was completely authentic to ourselves, deep down, there is so much less regret, shame and guilt around it.
Whereas if we fail at something we were only doing for other people’s approval, or to meet the expectations you think are on you, that failure hurts more. I believe this is because we are not only annoyed with the failure, we are also disappointed in ourselves for not being ourselves.
Keep trying at the things you love, and go out on a whim every now and again, when the opportunity excites you. You never know what could happen if it all works out!
How to be Confident
I’m going to say something that not a lot of people realise. Confidence isn’t an emotion, it’s a belief.
Let me explain…
Emotions are fleeting, like waves in an ocean, they come and they go and they’re usually different to each other. Whereas confidence is a belief. Beliefs are like skills, in the sense they are learnt.
The way we learn beliefs is through evidence. So instead of trying to reach a state of confidence before attempting anything, show yourself you are confident from continuing to create the evidence.
You fail, you pick yourself up. Your friend says something out of line, you tell them it’s not okay. You get undermined in a meeting, you still speak up next time.
The more things you do to show your confidence, the more confidence you will have.
Finally, you are magical. You have got this, I know you do, so I’m sending you so much love and energy to go and smash life out the park!